Game(s) Played:
No, really, the following post has MAJOR spoilers for the Gloomhaven campaign. This has been your spoiler warning.
Gloomhaven #30 – (32) Decrepit Wood
Game: Gloomhaven
Designer: Isaac Childres
Players: 1 – 4 Players
Playing Time: 30 – 120 minutes (This Play: 120 minutes)
Main Mechanisms: Role Playing, Legacy, Hand Management
Player(s):
Something was wrong. Splinter 'Karaoke Kingu' (Mindthief) rolled off his bed and launched himself straight out the window of his room, a move made easy due to practice and the careful positioning of his bed facing the window. However, whilst Splinter could hear the intruder's heavy footfalls outside the door in his sleep, he couldn't hear the intruder's accomplice waiting for him one floor below, holding a big sack wide open.
Lyramof 'The Polite' (Cragheart) ties up the nose of the sack, careful to leave some breathing space for the struggling Vermling that just fell from the sky. Looking up at the window where his now captured prey jumped from, Lyramof spies the shadow of a horned Inox against the moonlight. All Might 'The Symbol Of Peace' (Brute) whispers down to Lyramof, "Got him?" "Yes, but…" "SHHH!!! Just meet me down the street!" The shadow of All Might's pointy head disappears back into the room, with no one left to argue with, Lyramof shrugs his shoulders and hefts Splinter onto his shoulder and legs it up the street.
Lyramof's character is actually based on Korg who can be seen here with his good friend, Miek
"There was no need for histrionics" rasps Splinter as the trio walk down the street, cutting across the Coin District. "No need to bite me either" grins Lyramof happily, clearly not the one in pain after being bitten. "You would have asked that show-off, Thalia to come along and then the whole trip would be ruined" reasons All Might. "Fetching the vessel of a god-like entity is not a trip" retorts Splinter and is about to add more when the door of one of the houses on the street opens.
How is it that the two most heavyweight classes can save a fragile vase AS IT IS falling to the ground?!?!?!
All Might gives Lyramof the extra two coins after splitting the reward evenly between the three of them, "You should send some money to your ma". "Thanks bruv" replies Lyramof appreciatively. As the party crests the ridge, Splinter lifts his claws in warning, "Incoming, looks like your old friends".
All Might beats his chests like a gorilla, which in primate culture is actually a mating call
Kicking in the front door is never used by the military but is a surprisingly favoured tactic of 34% of burglars
"New species of monsters!!!" yells Lyramof excitedly as he sees the GIANT VIPERS, a DEEP TERROR and a HARROWER INFESTER lurking near the entrance of the building. He enthusiastically plunges his fists into the hard dirt, the hard earth swallows Lyramof's arms like soft clay, and a reverberation can be felt thrumming beneath the earth.
The monsters first hear what sounds like the warbling of a dead animal, then the rumbling of rocks grinding upon one another, both sounds increasing in volume until it reaches a fever pitch. Then the rock slide came.
Rock Slide Imminent
As Splinter finished the final note in his war song, All Might stares at him "You didn't have to warn them, you know" "Actually I think the song stunned them" responds Lyramof in Splinter's defense. "Well it did work I suppose, let's go kick in the front door, shall we?" grins All Might menacingly.
With a mighty kick, the door goes flying in but All Might comes flying back out the doorway, hit by a combination of poison blobs from the BLACK IMPS congregating within. Lyramof reacts immediately by yanking out the nearest support beam of the already dilapidated structure, causing parts of the roof to fall in, buying the group some time. All Might picks himself up and charges in with his shield, knowing that Splinter's absence means the sneaky ninja has already slipped inside during the dust and mayhem. What follows is an endless battle of back and forth as the BLACK IMPS and HARROWER INFESTERS heal each other and themselves, taking turns to play Mercy as they spam heal one another.
Medics always go unappreciated
Our intrepid trio finally win the battle of attrition and now stand before the door into the next room. "I think, this time we do it more stealthily" whispers All Might as he pushes the door open, only for the bell attached to the door to ring and cut through the silence, "Oh snap". The nest of GIANT VIPERS & HARROWER INFESTERS quickly bum rush the hulking All Might, who fends off many of the attacks with his shield but is hit enough times to cause him to back away from the entrance. Splinter and Lyramof hold the line together until the initial wave has played itself out before launching a counter attack with All Might bringing up the rear. "Get that BLACK IMP sniper in the back!" yells All Might.
Campers have no honour so deserve no honour
With the BLACK IMP support taken out, Lyramof's boulders flatten the GIANT VIPERS utterly, leaving the HARROWER INFESTERS who fall due to sheer numbers and Splinter & All Might's ability to discard cards to ignore damage.
We call this special ability, PLOT ARMOR, baybeh!
As the vessel sits in a treasure chest in the corner, Lyramof and All Might are going back and forth, "You like collecting things, you carry it!" "Mama says touching evil artefacts will make me impure" "Don't you dare bring your momma…"
Loot 2.
Don't hate the Player, hate the game
As Lyramof and All Might look on incredulously at Splinter, he bows and intones "Arigato gentlemen, and sayonara", turns around and walks back in the direction of Gloomhaven. "Fine, I'll carry it" mumbles All Might sullenly as he tosses the vessel into his backpack.
I had to change the plot a little since we have already decided not to help The Voice
Now let's cut to the action in real time!
Results Of Game(s)
Winners:
Justin aka Splinter "Loot 2" – 21 Exp & 28 Gold
Edward aka Lyramof "Could you let me kill that? And that one too? Oh and him too" – 21 Exp & 18 Gold
Moses aka All Might "(After dealing 3 status effects to one enemy) I think I forgot to shuffle these" – 23 Exp & 13 Gold
We will be back with more Gloomhaven when we can.
Until next time, keep calm and play better.
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