Game(s) Played:
No, really, the following post has MAJOR spoilers for the Gloomhaven campaign. This has been your spoiler warning.
Gloomhaven #31 – (22) Temple of the Elements
Game: Gloomhaven
Designer: Isaac Childres
Players: 1 – 4 Players
Playing Time: 30 – 120 minutes (This Play: 180 minutes)
Main Mechanisms: Role Playing, Legacy, Hand Management
Player(s):
"So instead of going after the all powerful artifact, you guys go off collecting the vessels of a disembodied Voice who has threatened to SUCK the souls out of our bodies?!?!" screams Thalia 'Heir of Saint Traft' (Scoundrel) all in one breath at the sheepish collective before her. "I was only following…" rumbles Lyramof 'The Polite' (Cragheart) before Thalia cuts in, "You aided and abetted a kidnapping!" "And you!" shouts Thalia at empty air. The two second silence is interrupted by the horsey, guffawing laughter of All Might running off down the street to the next nearest bar. "Sigh, let's just go and grab that artifact. You can come out of the rafters now", calls out Thalia. Splinter 'Karaoke Kingu' (Mindthief) separates himself from the shadows as he comes down from the ceiling and falls in line behind Lyramof as they follow Thalia out of the Sleeping Lion.
For the first time, we decided it was good to be bad, except it wasn't very good at all. 5 Gold for 1 Prosperity is actually a terrible trade off.
Fighting is more in our nature and at least this time it has yielded us a mysterious benefactor
"Is it very much farther?" asks Lyramof as he steps around the bole of a pinewood. Feeling the tippy-tap of claws on his noggin, Lyramof looks up to see Splinter, who is sitting across his shoulders, pointing straight ahead of them.
It seems to be a standard plot device for the heroes to arrive late wherever they go
Looking at Lyramof, Thalia points at the two CULTISTS, "Evict them". As Lyramof's glowing arms dig into the ground, Splinter leaps past the first CULTIST and slides his blade across the ribs of the CULTIST in the back. A brief incantation later and blue flames erupt from the open wound of the CULTIST, setting him on fire. The boulders are now flying through the air and the screams of the CULTIST on fire are suddenly cut off as he gets squelched by one of the geological missiles. Seeing his life being measured in the minutes, the remaining fanatical CULTIST rattles off an incantation and has his soul sucked into a growing portal, out of which steps a three armed undead monstrosity – LIVING BONES. Thalia signals towards the door, "GO! GO! GO!" as she parries one of its strikes with her blades.
When Thalia says it, it is tactical manoeuvre. When All Might says these words, we know he's up to no good.
Bursting through the doors, Splinter rolls into a crouched position, marking everything that moves in this larger chamber.
The baddies are somehow always expecting the good guys and never need to take toilet breaks instead of erecting protective barriers over artifacts
"Okay" is Splinter's response as the stones he gathered during his roll come flashing out of his hands, striking all his marked targets right between the eyes, disorienting his opponents for the moment. "Be struck down then" is Splinter's follow up as slabs of concrete come sailing across the room, courtesy of Lyramof, that take down each of the CULTISTS. Thalia's quip of "What did I miss?" goes unanswered as Splinter feels otherworldly powers emanate through the first doorway and he makes a hand signal for silence. Pulling out his REMOTE SPIDER, Splinter slips it under the door and waits for the impending *whoosh* before pulling on his CLOAK OF INVISIBILITY and jumping into the room. The two EARTH DEMONS blink around in confusion as the REMOTE SPIDER explodes and emits a cloud of poisonous gas, effective even to creatures from another realm. Splinter however ignores the EARTH DEMONS and focuses on the glowing altar behind them that is making his skin crawl. Side stepping the confused enemies, Splinter reverses his dagger and hits the altar with the blunt side.
The EARTH DEMONS appear to shudder and seem to shrink a little after Splinter's blow to the altar. Sensing an epiphany, Thalia slips into the shadows and appears next to Splinter and starts hammering away at the altar as well. The EARTH DEMONS sense their power diminishing and try to feel around for their invisible quarry but are interrupted by more flying boulders that do some damage to them but are now piled up such that Splinter and Thalia are both trapped in with the EARTH DEMONS. Sensing that it's time to make a hasty retreat, Thalia and Splinter perform a simultaneous slash at the EARTH DEMON standing in their way as they jump over the rubble, heading towards the exit. Passing by the sheepish Lyramof, Thalia merely says "Aim, mister" before sprinting off towards the next door and presumably the next altar.
Sometimes "Ooops I missed" doesn't cut the mustard
Thalia is the first one through the door and in a flash of steel, takes down the FROST DEMON, whilst Splinter goes to work hammering at the next altar. Stumbling over the corpses of the three CULTISTS, Lyramof spots a treasure chest in the corner of the room and excited to open his first treasure chest ever, fails to notice the "TRAPPED! Do not open!" sign stuck to the front and proceeds to open it.
Boy was Edward (@Lyramof) pissed when this happened. The observers couldn't stop laughing though.
As Splinter comically misses continually whilst trying to hammer away at an inanimate object, Thalia moves over to Lyramof to give him a hand. "Why do you think we always let All Might open the traps?" quips Thalia as she grabs Lyramof by the arm and pulls him up. Entering the third room, Thalia jumps out of the way as an enraged WIND DEMON sends two scythes of wind flying towards the entrance door. Not as agile, Lyramof suffers grievous injuries and in throes of panic, Lyramof pulls down the nearest support, causing the roof to cave in. Unfortunately Thalia is now stuck inside the room with the WIND DEMON. Under the cover of dust, Thalia makes a flying leap towards the glowing altar and smashes the pommels of her blades on the altar, cracking it. As the WIND DEMON shudders in agony from the twin effects of both altars being destroyed simultaneously, Thalia and Lyramof attack the WIND DEMON from the front and back, shattering it into pieces.
One of my favourite Naruto moves
Approaching the final room, Lyramof looks towards his companions. Thalia and he are bleeding from multiple open wounds after their skirmish with the WIND DEMON. Splinter may look relatively healthy on the surface but the fact that you can see him clearly instead of in the shadows means he's pretty low on stamina. Thalia takes a step towards the door but is stopped by Splinter's outstretched claw. "Wait" is the only word Splinter rasps out as he closes his eyes in concentration. Stepping through the door, Splinter's eyes open wide all aglow.
Here comes the boom
The two FLAME DEMONS scream hellfury at the intruding Vermling, the first FLAME DEMON catches a flashing dagger in the gut, disarming him for a moment, the second FLAME DEMON tries to step forward but explodes in a ball of flame. Jumping in to the fray, Thalia and Lyramof take turns to smash apart the last altar.
Oh no! We need to see our least favourite Enchantress again!
Now let's cut to the action in real time!
"What was that?" asks Thalia as they pack up the artifact. "I call it CRANIUM OVERLOAD" responds Splinter. "Gross" says Thalia in reply. "No, that's gross" says Splinter pointing towards Lyramof with an EARTH DEMON's head hanging from his belt. "Um, yes about that… Why don't we chat as we walk along" gestures Lyramof towards the exit.
"You're becoming a what?!?!" Thalia's voice cuts through the murmuring forest. "Taxidermist" repeats Lyramof patiently, "Don't worry, I've found a replacement, they should be arriving in Gloomhaven in the next few days". "Wait, 'they'?" interrupts Thalia. "You'll see, you'll see" explains Lyramof off-handedly as the party make the long walk back to the Sleeping Lion.
Results Of Game(s)
Winners:
Justin aka Splinter "Jedi Mind Tricks" – 24 Exp & 9 Gold & 1 Tick (+PERK!)
Edward aka Lyramof "So long and thanks for all the kills" – 30 Exp (LVL UP!) & 9 Gold & 1 Tick
Gideon aka Thalia "Go! Go! Go!" – 21 Exp & 29 Gold & 1 Tick
-1 PROSPERITY :( :( :(
We will be back with more Gloomhaven when we can.
Until next time, keep calm and play better.
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