Game(s) Played:
No, really, the following post has MAJOR spoilers for the Gloomhaven campaign. This has been your spoiler warning.
Gloomhaven #12 – (6) Decaying Crypt
Game: Gloomhaven
Designer: Isaac Childres
Players: 1 – 4 Players
Playing Time: 30 – 120 minutes (This Play: 120 minutes)
Main Mechanisms: Role Playing, Legacy, Hand Management
Player(s):
It's been a couple of weeks since the party have vanquished the Prime Demon and closed the rift to the elemental plane. In the interim, the party have been taking a break from mercenary-ing and spending the hard earned coins they had earned from looting the Prime Demon's temple.
A case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time
"Hold it! I don't like the way this one looks" says the Lieutenant whilst pointing at Xanna. "Warrant Officer Cosby!" "YES SAH!" "Portrait check!" "RIGHT AWAY SAH!". Warrant Officer Cosby pulls out a thick book labelled "Criminal Portraits" and begins flicking through the pages. Stopping on a page, Warrant Officer Cosby quickly confers with his superior officer in hushed whispers.
Turning back towards Xanna, "So… the famed cannibalistic murderer Lecter Hannibal has decided to target the good citizens of Gloomhaven?" whispers the Lieutenant with a tremor in his voice. Over loud protesting the entire guard pounces on Xanna, ties her up and carries her away before her friends can even say anything in support of Xanna's identity. All Might shrugs and says, "We should leave town for a bit, let's split up and meet outside the city gates at the usual place to be safe." Rincewind quietly mimics a drinking motion with his hands behind All Might's back to which Thalia nods her head sadly and each of them goes their own way.
Night falls with a seasonal rain that doesn't appear to be letting up and we find Thalia and Rincewind sheltering under the eaves of a leaky farmer's shed. Thalia is clearly impatient and tells Rincewind to turn in whilst she takes the first watch and wait for All Might to show up, which he doesn't even when dawn breaks across the horizon. "Screw it, let's just go" grumbles Thalia. Even as they are on their way to the crypt, they finally hear All Might's drunken singing catching up to them in the forest.
We're never helping old ladies ever again
Being cursed is a really big pain and part of dealing with the undead
"Gods, this smell is enough to make me turn around and go home." complains All Might as he spits over his shoulder. Rincewind pokes the Inox in the shoulder whilst holding his nose, "Maybe next time you'll show up to the planning session instead of meeting us halfway to our next destination."
"We're here now so let's just get a move on and clean house." Thalia nudges the two towards the oncoming Living Bones and Living Corpses. All Might struts his 8 ft frame up to the oncoming Living Bones whilst Thalia unsheathes her dirks and Rincewind pulls out his first aid kit, "I got this at the apothecary, cures for the sniffles, fevers, contagious diseases and dismemberment. I'm new to this so make sure you mark your left and right appendages in case they both get cut off."
Schoolyard bullying tactics are just as good as the secret martial arts of a hidden mountain sect
With the Living Bones taken care of, All Might takes a look at the shuffling Living Corpses and then turns towards the nearest door. "You guys can handle those two slow pokes right?" he says whilst he tip toes over to the door and slides the door open a crack.
I know gaming rules aren't meant to be hyper-realistic but triggering aggro on a whole room without line of sight is a bit wrong imo
"You know that you're a walking series of terrible coincidences right?" Thalia says, throwing All Might a dark look, whilst cutting down the last Living Corpse in the room. "And that used to be my call-sign, 'The Million To One Chance So It's Gotta Work', I'm glad it's not me anymore," quips Rincewind as he slaps a band aid on All Might's shoulder.
"OWWW! Stop distracting me!" All Might shouts as he beats a delaying retreat from the oncoming horde of undead streaming through the doorway. Looking at the grouped up monsters, Rincewind pulls on his Invisibility Cloak and pops an ice cube into his mouth, preparing the incantation for "ICY BLAST". Seeing Rincewind disappear, Thalia decides to take cover behind All Might who shield bashes the Living Bones back into his comrades at the doorway entrance.
Spell fizzling is okay when you get a light spring rain instead of a thunderstorm, things get really bad when it starts raining anvils instead
"Great, you snowed on them instead of pelting them with icicles and hailstones." complains All Might. "Well then, we just need to do this the hard way I suppose" responds Thalia as she wades into the sea of enemies, dirks flashing and carving a swathe through the enemy.
After the undead have been decimated, All Might and Thalia sit down on the floor of the crypt to patch their wounds whilst Rincewind, clearly winded and trying to catch his breath, catches up to them at the closed doorway into the next room. Helpfully, there is a sign, with its glue still wet, plastered all over the doorway stating, "Last Room Of Crypt, Do Not Enter".
With a loud boom, splinters of wood sail through the air and the force of the door's momentum displaces the air previously occupying the space behind the door which in turn displaces the dust on the floor creating a sickening brown cloud that causes hacking cough. All Might jumps through the doorway with a "Thank you for your invitation!!!" and in the dust screen and commotion, Thalia has disappeared whilst Rincewind is busy summoning AID FROM THE ETHER which brings through a Mystic Ally across the quantum dimensions. As the dust clears, something gleams through the smog.
Racers, on your marks, get set, hey! Thalia's gone!
Rincewind is on the phone with his Magic Carpet dealer about their warranty and returns policy
As the Living Corpses and Living Spirits are slowly whittled down until only 1 remains, Thalia and All Might corner the last Living Spirit who looks like it wishes a great white portal would show up to take it into the light. And so, for whatever reason, the competition for the last killing blow begins, Thalia is just a fraction faster than All Might but sneezes at the wrong moment, her killing stroke flying wide from her full body sneezing jerk. All Might takes a second to laugh at Thalia before cleaving the Living Spirit in twain. In the background, Rincewind is industriously picking up all the loot left behind.
Our critical misses were pretty bad this round and it's always fun to make a weird reason for them
If I'm not mistaken, this cult should no longer exist having been destroyed by us, typical rpg storyline glitch
Now let's cut to the action in real time!
Results Of Game(s)
Winners:
Justin aka Rincewind "Money, money, money!!!" – 19 Exp & 32 Gold
Moses aka All Might "Too easy baby" –22 Exp & 5 Gold & 2 Ticks
Gideon aka Thalia "Back to back treasure chest looting" – 25 Exp & 32 Gold & 1 Tick
We will be back with more Gloomhaven in one week's time.
Until next time, keep calm and play better.
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